2.0

     Okay, I'll admit it. I let this blog slide when I got in my car accident. And I stand by doing that, because that was super traumatic and I'll still cry about it when I think about it for too long, but it just reminded me that life is really for the living, and if I wait forever for the right moments to live, I'll find myself old and regretful.

    Holy run-on sentence, Batman.

    So this is going to change into what it always should've been. This is going to be a blog solely about the beaches and my time at them. My time traveling to them and what they're like, with ratings. I turned it into a car one because I happened to be going to beaches with my car, but really the heart of this blog is the beaches.

    I'm in graduate school for my master's in creative nonfiction-- not that you'd know it from my very casual spelling and grammar here-- and part of what I'm learning is that I let my own internal insecurities hold myself back. I let the fear and worry creep in and then I'm not having fun. Say what you will about 2020 Jackie, but she knew how to have fun. Was it good fun? No. But it was still fun.

    I have this theory that when you're older and more mature, the worry and fear are healthy to keep you safe in life. I can't spend all my money on XYZ because I have bills to pay. 2020 Jackie didn't care. 2020 me had maxed out credit cards and no life savings. My credit cards have a zero balance-- except my balance transfer to Discover!-- and I have not only a savings account, but a high yield savings account too. 

    At the same time that I worry, I still sometimes find myself looking for 2020 Jackie. She was in the trenches constantly and would come out victorious, bloody knuckles and black eyes. I feel too soft for all that now. Even though I retained my hardened shell, it's slowly softening and I find that creating a lot of internal fear as well. 2020 me would be disappointed and scared.

    Holy therapy session, Batman.

    ANYWAY. This is going to be a travel blog, with a primary focus on beaches. Should this be a vlog? I'm rambling again. 

    Recently, I broke my foot. Totally stupidly, I was walking on a hill and my foot just fucking snapped. It was such a loud crack that people around me immediately asked if I was okay. I said yes, because... that's just who I am. When I finally gathered myself-- I didn't cry, but it was so emotionally scary-- I sat down and peeled my sock off. A lump on my foot.

    Maybe I just sprained it. I tried to walk. Nope, definitely not.

    All of that to say that I can still live life with a broken foot. I just have to live it in a boot with a scooter, not full weight bearing and no standing longer than 10 minutes. All of that to say, who is stopping me from going to another one of the beaches on my list for a few days in between PT appointments?

    So I've got plans. I've got big ones. There's Christmas in New York, there's my residency for my master's, there's Japan to visit my sister for a couple days, and there's Emo Night Brooklyn in actual Brooklyn.

    Life is for living, and I just bring a scooter with me to adhere to the doctor's orders.

    I don't actually have a beach for Japan on my list. They're really pretty but I guess I looked more at the crystal clear waters and white sand beaches, and they don't have them. Also tattoos aren't acceptable at most of the beaches. Also my sister doesn't live near the ones that are tattoo friendly. She's by a naval base, not even in Tokyo. 

    Still, I can wear long sleeves, and any beach in Japan is a good start at tackling my list, and I think I'll find myself totally and completely charmed by the water over there, and my list can explode even more. 

    It's a start, anyway. I'll see you soon.