Road Trip Rules: I don't wanna hear it.

     I make it sound so dramatic, but road trips are sacred. Holy. I'm not religious anymore but watching the sunrise from my car doing 90 on the interstate is truly ethereal. It's unlike any other experience. But you can only watch the sunrise at the perfect spot-- the sweet twists and turns shortly before Nevada stateline-- when you've hit the road before the sun has a chance to peek over the curtains of the world. I cherish that time. I cherish it, I worship it, I love that time. The privacy, the secrecy of the night, and then the way the sun lights everything you thought was dark and scary.

    Naturally, I have rules. Say it with me: you can only watch the sunrise just before stateline if you've left early enough to reach stateline by sunrise.

    Rule 1: Leave by 4am

    This rule has a small amount of leeway. 2am is solid if you have to get gas and coffee. 3am is ideal, if you've already got a full tank and canned caffeine (the only kind for a road trip). 4am is the absolute latest you can leave before you've already lost.

    Rule 2: Clean car

    Cleanliness is close to godliness, or something like that, and nothing makes a road trip better than a clean car to dirty up. Like how cleaning your room makes you feel like an entirely new person, cleaning your car before a road trip cleanses you on the drive. Everything feels manageable in a clean car. Plus your food and drinks can fit better.

    Rule 3: No rest stops

    I'm going to say that this one has a little bit of leeway as well. I personally cannot stand rest stops. They slow me down, I have to rebuild that momentum, and they just overall eat into my beach time, especially on a turn and burn. The only leeway this has is if it's someone I know needs rest stops-- unlike me, my sister finds the idea of peeing in a bag while driving to be abhorrent, even though it is possible-- or if I feel like Dani needs a break. On my last trip, I stopped for about fifteen minutes, just to rest her a little. It was irritating, but I do it for her.

    Rule 4: No speed limit

    I get it. This is a crime. You know what else is a crime? The speed limit. That also eats into my beach time. Additionally, this is where the early morning departures fit in. Cops are almost never out on the way to the stateline.

    Rule 5: No leaving the beach

    Next to my departure rule, this one is the one I value the most. If I am at the beach early, chances are I have found primo parking. Why why why would I leave it to go get lunch? Who is hungry at the beach anyway??? You should've packed a meal instead of snacks. Leave the beach, lose my parking spot and beach time? No, thank you. Hard pass.

    Rule 6: No leaving while the sun is up

    I will be the first to admit this. I hate the drive back to Nevada from California. I am whiteknuckling the twisty roads. Oncoming traffic headlights beam in my face and I have trouble seeing which way the road twists. Frequently I will drift to the middle of two lanes for better control, but for the most part, my hands are clenched on the wheel and I am barely holding on. If I had more light, this wouldn't be a problem.

    But leaving when the sun is up eats into my beach time, and I will not have that. I'll do that stupid white knuckle twisty drive, so long as I have maximized my beach time.

    Rule 7: Local foods

    If we are going to a beach town and leave the beach for food-- caveat: this is usually only if I'm spending more than one day in the town-- it has to be local food. I'm not driving five hours to eat what I could eat at home. Some of the best foods I've had have been at hole in the wall places that I could not find again if I tried.

    Rule 8: Random books/postcard

    I love reading at the beach. I feel like it's the perfect backdrop, like it makes everything easier and I feel younger. I feel like the person I could've been. The key to this is going to the nearest bookstore and finding two books that spark interest, usually going by the cover alone. I tend to go with my gut on this. I'm not spending forever choosing two perfect books, because that-- say it with me-- eats into my beach time. Besides, any books I choose as my beach books will be perfect regardless.

    I always buy my niece a postcard from any random place I go, but especially the beaches. I love writing her messages that she won't understand until she's older. I love writing pieces of advice I learned while at the place, and it ends up leaving an indelible mark on the memory for me. I have memory issues, and I value those bookmarks in my mind.

    Her first postcard was one I bought from an art museum in Reno. I was with my friend Stephen and I had just gotten back from work when he stopped by my dorm to ask if I wanted to go. I said yes, we walked, and I found that. That was her first postcard, her first piece of advice. It was about how friends are sometimes the most unexpected people.

    See? Indelible.

    Are these rules so tyrannical that I have earned my titles, my widespread reputation? No. Do I have the reputation anyway? Yes. Do I care? Hmm... no. Feel free to use these. I swear they upgrade any road trip. Of course, you're free to amend them however you wish. But trust me.