02/15/22:
Grandma's House
Aunt Patty made it very clear she prefers Stephanie. I can't blame her, and it's a common theme, but everyone else has at least made an effort at trying to focus on me. Honestly, that whole thing really hurt my feelings. Like, you could've just FaceTimed her and had more fun, clearly. We went to a mad weird White but Hispanic Country Club, El Bosque. Its vibe is "I'm having an affair with my tennis instructor."
The whole time, I was a mouthpiece for Stephanie, Sierra, and David. I WAS RIGHT THERE!
And all she wanted to know about was Stephanie. Melanie turned out surprisingly cool, with equal levels of trauma. I had fun with her. We ditched Aunt Patty and Uncle Sergio and got tipsy instead. I love that energy. She reminded me of me.
This next part is going to make me sound shallow and materialistic. Originally Aunt Patty had said she was getting gifts for me and Sierra. When I left her car, everything was for Sierra, and she thought that was so funny. Not a single thing for me.
That's what hurt the most though, I think.
I wasn't expecting anything until she said that, and it was so disappointing. I left shortly after dinner with Grandma, came to my room, and cried.
I thought I was being relatively quiet, but I guess not. I wanted to go sit on the porch swing-- forgetting the dogs were in their areas for the night-- so I stepped out of my room. Hidden in the shadows, I asked Uncle Dirk if he'd set the alarm yet. No, he hadn't.
So I plodded to the kitchen, but he followed. In the kitchen was when I remembered the dogs, so I pretended the kitchen was my main goal to avoid any excess questions. But... My face gets red and splotchy when I cry, and I was still sniffling, so he obviously knew something was up.
He asked if I was okay. I said yes-- you know, like a liar. He asked if I wanted to tell him the gossip I had promised him earlier. So I did, detailing all the absolute ballistic shit my aunt had done to my cousin. Both surprising and unsurprising. She is related to my mother, after all.
In between my sniffling, Uncle Dirk asked if I was congested, and said his allergies are acting up too. You know, like a liar, but a really kind one.
Anyway, he asked if there was anything else, and it all came spilling out: they loved Stephanie and Sierra more, and shallowly, the gift thing. I had to clarify that I wasn't trying to be materialistic and I didn't harbor any ill feelings towards Sierra. Just that it uber sucked.
He told me that was very cold of her, and that she sounds like Mom. He said he felt like I, as an overall person, was "pretty okay" in his book. Well grown, given my circumstances. I think it was a high compliment. Like when David says he's killing Tomato, but really he's just cuddling her.
By the end, in the kitchen, we were poring over my map of Peru, which I gave to him later cause I don't need it. And by the end, I felt okay again.
When I went back to my room, before my shower and incremented poop-- segments for the low flush toilets; I hate it, please give my American flushes so I can crack a toilet bowl-- Uncle Dirk came in my room and told me that Aunt Patty may not like my lifestyle very much, but he's willing to bet Melanie is very jealous. And that's a pretty good point.
Signing off as "Pretty Okay"
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