Before the Bitchin' Beaches Bucket List, I had a standard beach: Coronado, and an aspiring beach: Carmel by-the-sea. Okay, yes, part of it was my desire to live out the life of Susannah Simon. Most of it was the description of white sand, beautiful blue waters, and the way the town looked in all the pictures.
Carmel was eight hours away. I couldn't justify it for a day trip. I couldn't justify it for a weekend trip. I could justify it for a four day birthday trip. And God, was it worth it.
When I read my twelve articles, Carmel-- and Coronado-- continuously made the list of the most beautiful beaches in California. I was so inclined to agree, and even more grateful that I'd chosen CBTS as my birthday trip. I took my sister, and my niece, and each day was crazy. Reminiscent of our childhood together but no angry mother, money of our own to spend, and I planned the entire thing. I drove almost the entire trip. The amount of serotonin was, again, unmatched.
It was unmatched even when I went out of my comfort zone, and we all hiked up Point Lobos, explored different paths, asked random people for help, and somehow carried a stroller up stone steps to a beautiful lookout.
(This lookout was reached by ducking under a sign and fence that said, "Do not!") (Many people were doing the same thing, and when I questioned it aloud, a lady said there was a worn path of about six steps, that the sign was about smushing flowers, and if we all stepped in the worn steps, everything would be fine. So I went.)
Everyone says my sister and I look alike, but we really don't see it. Sound off if we don't. Don't if you don't want to. But seriously. Do we?
This was a whole other spot. My sister didn't quite understand why I was taking so many water background shots. She's not a Pisces. She's not even a water sign. She had no idea what she was talking about. Look at the fucking water though! It's so fucking blue!! Nothing like the Aegean Sea, which has always been a lifetime goal, but it's still pretty damn blue.
We stayed at this Howard Wyndham and went to little coffee shops and restaurants all around. The hotel was cheap, and kind of shitty, and half the time, the key card stuck and needed to be jammed in and out again to unlock. But it was cute, and had a private balcony, and served continental breakfast, COVID style; paper bags in the lobby.
(48 degrees, and you still couldn't peel me away)
I didn't take any pictures of the Carmel Mission, because it felt weird being in a church after 5 years of being incommunicado with the Big Man himself. After all, what would God hate more? Someone who hates religion for a valid reason, or someone who fakes it? Being there really made me consider Pascal's Wager in the same manner, and even though someone has more to gain by believing in him, I will not. I think God would appreciate my honesty and reluctance to let go of my childhood.
That place made me feel Susannah Simon-y the most. Meg Cabot is truly a great writer if she can describe something so well that anyone who goes can feel the spirit of her characters. When my sister complained about the fog, I informed her that it would burn off by ten am, courtesy of Meg Cabot's main character in The Mediator. What an iconic series.
The only issue were my beach photos. They looked exactly the same as the Coronado pictures look. A beach is, after all, for swimming, and I didn't have a photoshoot, but I felt like I kept doing the same poses over and over again, in retrospect. Either way, every beach photo, I look gorgeous. Kudos to the sunshine and the serotonin.
(A leg shot, and a hand caressing my hair, with my shades. Gigi Hadid, please come help me. I'm useless once I'm sun-drunk.)
Every list that has CBTS on it is a list that makes me incredibly grateful I chose that. I know my Bitchin' Beaches Bucket List has beaches that are even longer drives away, necessitating a longer stay, but can we imagine the serotonin I'd derive from those drives, and those weeks alone? If Carmel gave me that, and it was based on the descriptions a book character had given me, I can only imagine what it'll be like when I've personally looked into it, and seen the footage, and guessed the weather myself.
Dani has 242k miles on her, but she's well maintained, and I maintain she could make all of these trips. Except the Peru one. That kind of requires a plane trip. And the Aegean Sea. But that's gonna make me move to Greece. Should I just move to Greece anyway? Sound off on my genetic copy, and on the beaches to visit.
Thanks, Susannah Simon. Thanks, Meg Cabot. Thanks, Carmel.
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